Welcome to my mind....
My entire life has been about communication. I have to admit I have not always been the best at getting my point across. Yet, I was often the first to lose my temper because I was unable to do just that. Why can’t people just understand me? For way too many years I walked this earth angry and afraid, yes afraid. Which was a major component to why I was not able to get out what I wanted to say.
I remember school years walking around with a perpetual smile on my face, people often called me smiley. It was to cover the anger that simmered just below the surface that I kept buried because…I had to. Children were not allowed to be angry in my family. For the most part my mother was the only one allowed to do that. I have no “major” animosity toward her today, therapy has helped me with that and the art of assertive communication. I did learn to stuff what I felt and not say things. I learned to be passive aggressive or outright aggressive, neither of which were healthy ways of achieving my goals.
I have been married four times, twice to the same man. I honestly believe if I had known how to communicate effectively in the early years of my life two of those marriages would never have happened. Of course, I would not be the person I am today if I had avoided those collisions or have the three amazing children I have or the subsequent grandkids. All of which proves to me that Romans 8:28 is true for me, “All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.”
But, I digress…I love to talk. I love communication and the back and forth of introspection of two or more minds bouncing off of each other as neurons fire and synapses are created. We humans learn from one another for good or bad, that the neurobiological aspect of communication. What I find interesting is that we have over 7000 languages and we still do it*, [communicate], so poorly. How is it that an animal so advance can get something so basic, so imperative to survival, so wrong. It is our inability to communicate that is at the foundation of arguments, familial discord, divorce, national division, and war.
With the occurrence of COVID-19 and this quarantine, I have listened to our president, who seems to be the “King” of miscommunication, as well as others. I have read myths and mistakes on social media and watched as abject followers for both sides of the aisle entrench themselves in confirmation bias to maintain their positions. With that, I realized it was time for me to stand up and do something because:
(1) “If I am not part of the solution, I am part of the problem,” to paraphrase MLK. What is the problem? Again, people don’t know how to communicate. They resort to name calling and insults because of an inability to express themselves in a way in which others will hear them. Others refuse to listen, not hear but listen. Not everyone is completely wrong and not everyone is completely right. Somewhere in the middle is the truth.
(2) I am a social worker, part of what I am supposed to be doing is stand out in the middle of the fray and advocate for what is right. How can that happen without communication?
So, welcome to my mind. Welcome to the beginning of change and doing things differently. If nothing else I hope this makes you stop for a moment and think about how you communicate. For me, I will continue the path I started last year…BEING THE CHANGE I WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.
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